What better time than January, the depths of winter, for a little introspection! Having spent the last five weeks in class studying the yamas, the five restraints, I have become all too aware of the times when I am challenged by these principles.
Let's start with the first yama, ahimsa (non-harming).
Kyle Miller, states "Compassion is essential to the practice of ahimsa because it helps us break down the differences we've constructed between ourselves and others. By really seeing yourself in someone else's shoes, you begin to understand that we are all the same, all trying to survive and be happy, and the desire to inflict harm is automatically lessened."
I get that I'm not supposed to physically harm another human being or living thing, but it doesn't stop there. If I am thinking negative thoughts about another person, I not only harm him/her, but I harm myself with that negativity. How often I find negative, harmful thoughts entering my consciousness! To break the chain of harmful thinking, I can bless the other person and forgive myself for being human. I could go on and on, but this is meant to scratch the surface, making room for your thoughts. Besides, there are four more yamas!
Satya, translated as truthfullness, is the second of the yamas. With regard to satya, Lauren Flax, says "Simply defined, this is "truth within". We each have a space of truth-our own absolute personal truth. It can not be wrong, it shouldn't be judged. It is a nugget of pureness and -I think- that is where we feel most at home. When we are living in our most authentic vibration, when our actions align with our life affirming intentions, we are experiencing satya."
Isn't this the purpose of our existence, searching for our own personal truth? What I know, however, is that my truth does not always align with another's. As long as I am intending no harm, ahimsa, then I must follow my truth. This yama becomes a whole lot more than not telling lies!
Asteya, or non-stealing, is the third yama. On the "yogawithamy" blog, this insight was shared: "While reflecting on incorporating asteya into one's life, it is also worthwhile to remember some of the intangible ways in which we take from others. Being knowingly tardy to an appointment with a friend presumes that our time is more valuable than theirs. Speaking on behalf of another takes away their opportunity to express themselves. Doing homework for, or stifling curiosity in children robs them of learning on their own. Presupposing the outcome of a disagreement with a loved one steals both parties from the chance to carve out a new path to a familiar worry. Taking credit for ideas which are not rightly yours,or accepting praise which is undue are also examples of taking something which is not yours to take."
In downplaying my talents, not sharing my gifts with the world I am robbing myself of the chance to shine. This withholding is a form of stealing. No one benefits there. In what life situations, or with whom are you taking more than your give?
Moderation of the senses, or brahmacharya, is the fourth yama.
Jenn Ryan puts it this way: "It is important to apply moderation to moderation also, so it is not a burden. It is a beautiful practice. It is about moderating the extremes, not wanting too much and being happy with what you have. The practice of Wanting Wanting Wanting will always leave you feeling unsatisfied."
I can find the practice of moderation quite challenging. It seems as though there is a fine line between doing too much and not doing quite enough. I like to push myself physically, whether it is on the mat or the ski slopes. I have been practicing stopping before I succumb to complete exhaustion. If I am truly listening to my body, I will have more to give at a later time. Moderation of thoughts can be quite tricky. Usually when I'm getting carried away with obsessive thinking, I need to get physical, to shift my focus. A little asana practice and some alternate nostril breathing, followed by meditation can be all it takes to moderate my thoughts. When it comes to alcohol and drug addiction, things become more complicated. All of this is, in theory, is simple, but not easy!
The fifth yama, aparigraha, is non-possessiveness.
Marimar Higgins, shares her insight into aparigraha: "On a more philosophical level, aparigraha is the practice of letting go and allowing for change. Just as our inhale and exhale keeps us alive, there is an expansion and contraction of all things. We give and we take. We obtain and we give away. In this way, aparigraha looks not only at physical possessions but also at the beliefs, ideas and even grudges that we hold onto (or hoard). Aparigraha is about inviting the present moment to just be what it is. When we notice what we have rather than what we lack, all we need will be acquired."
How often in my life I have held onto an idea of how I "think things should be." When I grasp at these unreal expectations, I am not accepting what is. I see this principle of non-possessiveness as all about acceptance: acceptance that I have enough, that my thoughts/ideas are not the only ones or, necessarily, the right ones, that the people in my life will do just fine if I can just loosen my hold on them!
In essence, I see the yamas as a path towards personal freedom. I don't see the practice of the restraints as an indictment for my errors, but more as a gentle guideline for good living. After all, that is what life is all about, practice, practice, practice!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Friday, November 5, 2010
PERFECTIONISM
"Nothing would be done at all if a man or woman waited until they could do it so well that no one could find fault with it." -Cardinal Newman-
There have been times in my life when I have chosen not to take a chance on something, for fear of failure. As a result, I inevitably end up with feelings of resentment and anxiety. Coupled with those feelings, there is the nagging thought,"what if?". When I remind myself that making mistakes is part of the human condition, I give myself permission to explore life's many opportunities and challenges.
Showing up at your first yoga class is the first step. It doesn't matter what clothes you wear, how much experience you have, or if you haven't yet lost that last 10 pounds. What matters is that you show up. Yoga is like life, if we come to it looking for perfection, the result will surely be disappointment. The important thing is not the end result, but that you are doing it.
There have been times in my life when I have chosen not to take a chance on something, for fear of failure. As a result, I inevitably end up with feelings of resentment and anxiety. Coupled with those feelings, there is the nagging thought,"what if?". When I remind myself that making mistakes is part of the human condition, I give myself permission to explore life's many opportunities and challenges.
Showing up at your first yoga class is the first step. It doesn't matter what clothes you wear, how much experience you have, or if you haven't yet lost that last 10 pounds. What matters is that you show up. Yoga is like life, if we come to it looking for perfection, the result will surely be disappointment. The important thing is not the end result, but that you are doing it.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
STAYING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
"Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry- all forms of fear- are caused by too much future and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence."
Wow, that says it all! I am definitely posting this on my refrigerator! In two sentences, Tolle elegantly sums up the human condition. I get into trouble the minute I take myself out of the present moment and flirt with either the past or the future. It's one thing to know this on an intellectual level, but quite another to live it.
So how do I translate this to my yoga practice? The beauty of yoga and any kind of purposeful movement is that it keeps me in the present. If I'm fully engaged, physically, it's kind of difficult to start thinking about a resentment from 20 years ago, or when I can get the plumber over to the house to fix the broken water main! However, when I find myself in a particularly challenging pose and the instructor is asking me to hold for what seems to be forever, I do look to the future. When is s/he going to change poses! In that moment, I look to my breath and bring my focus back to the here and now. The breath can take me deeper into a pose, or perhaps help me to ease up a bit. It is a great tool for bringing me back to the present and keeping me out of trouble. When I am able to successfully stay present in my yoga practice, I begin to see the possibility for success in my daily life.
When fear, resentment,and nonforgiveness creep in, I play a little game with myself. First, I connect with my breath. I then bring my attention to exactly what I am doing at that precise moment (eg. my hands are on the steering wheel, I am shifting gears, I am pressing the accelerator, etc.). The breath and the gentle reminder are enough to pull me out of the past/future and bring me back to the present.
Call me simple, but I love to have guidelines for living. Tolle's quote is just that.
Wow, that says it all! I am definitely posting this on my refrigerator! In two sentences, Tolle elegantly sums up the human condition. I get into trouble the minute I take myself out of the present moment and flirt with either the past or the future. It's one thing to know this on an intellectual level, but quite another to live it.
So how do I translate this to my yoga practice? The beauty of yoga and any kind of purposeful movement is that it keeps me in the present. If I'm fully engaged, physically, it's kind of difficult to start thinking about a resentment from 20 years ago, or when I can get the plumber over to the house to fix the broken water main! However, when I find myself in a particularly challenging pose and the instructor is asking me to hold for what seems to be forever, I do look to the future. When is s/he going to change poses! In that moment, I look to my breath and bring my focus back to the here and now. The breath can take me deeper into a pose, or perhaps help me to ease up a bit. It is a great tool for bringing me back to the present and keeping me out of trouble. When I am able to successfully stay present in my yoga practice, I begin to see the possibility for success in my daily life.
When fear, resentment,and nonforgiveness creep in, I play a little game with myself. First, I connect with my breath. I then bring my attention to exactly what I am doing at that precise moment (eg. my hands are on the steering wheel, I am shifting gears, I am pressing the accelerator, etc.). The breath and the gentle reminder are enough to pull me out of the past/future and bring me back to the present.
Call me simple, but I love to have guidelines for living. Tolle's quote is just that.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
GRATITUDE
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
-Melody Beattie-
Every Monday for the past several years, I have spent the afternoon with my elderly mother. The visits have evolved from being in her home, to her moving to assisted living seven months ago, and most recently moving to a memory care facility a month ago. What strikes me every time I visit, is her profound sense of gratitude. She thanks me over and over again for coming to see her. She thanks me for doing her nails and brushing her hair and any small thing that I do. She also compliments and thanks the aides who take care of her, telling them how wonderful they are and how beautiful the facility is. Her gratitude warms my heart and makes me want to do more for her. I see the same with the aides who care for her. This appreciation prompts her caregivers to do more for her and to truly love her. She has the gift of taking any small act of kindness and turning it into a treasure. I am learning by my mother's example that a grateful heart really does have the power to transform.
How can I translate that sense of gratitude to my yoga practice? I start with a sense of gratitude for the body I've been blessed with, aches and all. Next, I look to all the gifts my practice has given me: strength, stamina, flexibility, focus, inner calm. I am grateful I can listen to my body and tailor my practice accordingly. I appreciate that it is not a competition. I am thankful for any changes I experience for the better, however small they may be. I am grateful for my journey through yoga; I have learned so much about myself. When I look at my practice through the eyes of gratitude,I truly do feel the fullness of life. Gratitude has turned my practice into inspiration, and that keeps me coming back for more.
-Melody Beattie-
Every Monday for the past several years, I have spent the afternoon with my elderly mother. The visits have evolved from being in her home, to her moving to assisted living seven months ago, and most recently moving to a memory care facility a month ago. What strikes me every time I visit, is her profound sense of gratitude. She thanks me over and over again for coming to see her. She thanks me for doing her nails and brushing her hair and any small thing that I do. She also compliments and thanks the aides who take care of her, telling them how wonderful they are and how beautiful the facility is. Her gratitude warms my heart and makes me want to do more for her. I see the same with the aides who care for her. This appreciation prompts her caregivers to do more for her and to truly love her. She has the gift of taking any small act of kindness and turning it into a treasure. I am learning by my mother's example that a grateful heart really does have the power to transform.
How can I translate that sense of gratitude to my yoga practice? I start with a sense of gratitude for the body I've been blessed with, aches and all. Next, I look to all the gifts my practice has given me: strength, stamina, flexibility, focus, inner calm. I am grateful I can listen to my body and tailor my practice accordingly. I appreciate that it is not a competition. I am thankful for any changes I experience for the better, however small they may be. I am grateful for my journey through yoga; I have learned so much about myself. When I look at my practice through the eyes of gratitude,I truly do feel the fullness of life. Gratitude has turned my practice into inspiration, and that keeps me coming back for more.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
INTENTION
"In truth, it matters less what we do in practice than how we do it and why we do it. The same posture, the same sequence, the same meditation with a different intention takes on an entirely new meaning and will have entirely different outcomes." -Donna Farhi-
I am often asked why we set an intention at the beginning of every yoga practice. A simple answer is that is gives one a focus to move toward. Paul Dennison, PhD,a brain researcher and the co-founder of the movement based learning system, Educational Kinesiology, coined the phrase "attention follows intention." By taking a moment at the beginning of practice to set an intention, I am bringing my awareness to a particular feeling, movement, pose. It is a way of noticing. Setting an intention is bringing attention to a desired outcome. I may set an intention around feeling peaceful by the end of practice. More than likely, I set that intention because I wasn't feeling peaceful at the start of practice. Perhaps my hip has been bothering me, so I set an intention to gently work out the tightness in my hip. I am setting a goal for something I would like to achieve. Dennison explains that "Like a magnet, intention has the power to draw out of us the qualities we need to reach our goal." (BRAIN GYM(R) AN ME,2006,p.83)
I look at goal setting as a way to maximize my time in practice. As a teacher, my intention is to be clear, well prepared, playful and attentive. I am more apt to accomplish this if I make it my intention to do so.
I am often asked why we set an intention at the beginning of every yoga practice. A simple answer is that is gives one a focus to move toward. Paul Dennison, PhD,a brain researcher and the co-founder of the movement based learning system, Educational Kinesiology, coined the phrase "attention follows intention." By taking a moment at the beginning of practice to set an intention, I am bringing my awareness to a particular feeling, movement, pose. It is a way of noticing. Setting an intention is bringing attention to a desired outcome. I may set an intention around feeling peaceful by the end of practice. More than likely, I set that intention because I wasn't feeling peaceful at the start of practice. Perhaps my hip has been bothering me, so I set an intention to gently work out the tightness in my hip. I am setting a goal for something I would like to achieve. Dennison explains that "Like a magnet, intention has the power to draw out of us the qualities we need to reach our goal." (BRAIN GYM(R) AN ME,2006,p.83)
I look at goal setting as a way to maximize my time in practice. As a teacher, my intention is to be clear, well prepared, playful and attentive. I am more apt to accomplish this if I make it my intention to do so.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
COMMITMENT
I was skiing a few weeks ago and found myself having great difficulty navigating some heavy, chunky, powdery snow. After a few frustrating runs, I ran into an instructor and asked him to give me a tip. "Commit and lean into your boots", was his emphatic reply. I had been skiing very tentatively and wasn't really having much fun. What a difference it made to commit! Up to that point, I wasn't fully in it. I had an immediate attitude shift and, though my legs were exhausted by the end of the day from all that committing, I had fun and more success navigating my way down the hill.
I can take that same advice when it comes to my practice. I can begin by committing to practicing for a couple of minutes every day - maybe I'll do some sun salutations to get me going in the morning or to release tension in the evening. Research shows that it takes about 30 days for something to become a habit. I can set my sites on one month, forgiving myself if I miss a day or two here and there. If I miss a few days, instead of beating myself up, I can recommit the very next day. I want to be committed, but not punishing. To add a twist to the old adage, if at first you don't succeed, commit, commit again! You'll be glad you did.
I can take that same advice when it comes to my practice. I can begin by committing to practicing for a couple of minutes every day - maybe I'll do some sun salutations to get me going in the morning or to release tension in the evening. Research shows that it takes about 30 days for something to become a habit. I can set my sites on one month, forgiving myself if I miss a day or two here and there. If I miss a few days, instead of beating myself up, I can recommit the very next day. I want to be committed, but not punishing. To add a twist to the old adage, if at first you don't succeed, commit, commit again! You'll be glad you did.
Friday, January 15, 2010
ACCEPTANCE
"Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. It is not forever; it is for the present moment." -Melody Beattie-
If only it were that simple! Each and every day brings new (not always welcome!) opportunities for me to practice acceptance. Generally, my first response is to resist,and fight against the person,situation or thing with which I am struggling. Acceptance does not mean that I have to like what is going on in my life. A wise friend once explained it to me this way: If I went on a picnic and it began to rain, I could sit there and get wet or I could open an umbrella and move to a sheltered area. First, I need to recognize that it is raining before I can come up with a solution. There is no winning if I choose non-acceptance. What I do find however,is frustration, anger and hopelessness.
Acceptance in my yoga practice can serve as a demonstration of acceptance in my life. At the moment that I can accept myself,my limitations and challenges, I begin to relax into my practice. My competitive nature pushes me to "be the best" in my life's endeavors. What I have strived for most of my life is to accept that there will always be people who are more flexible, stronger, faster, etc.,than I. At those moments when I accept my competitive nature, I no longer see myself as wrong, or flawed,or less than. I have then allowed myself the freedom for change to enter into my life. Acceptance opens that door.
If only it were that simple! Each and every day brings new (not always welcome!) opportunities for me to practice acceptance. Generally, my first response is to resist,and fight against the person,situation or thing with which I am struggling. Acceptance does not mean that I have to like what is going on in my life. A wise friend once explained it to me this way: If I went on a picnic and it began to rain, I could sit there and get wet or I could open an umbrella and move to a sheltered area. First, I need to recognize that it is raining before I can come up with a solution. There is no winning if I choose non-acceptance. What I do find however,is frustration, anger and hopelessness.
Acceptance in my yoga practice can serve as a demonstration of acceptance in my life. At the moment that I can accept myself,my limitations and challenges, I begin to relax into my practice. My competitive nature pushes me to "be the best" in my life's endeavors. What I have strived for most of my life is to accept that there will always be people who are more flexible, stronger, faster, etc.,than I. At those moments when I accept my competitive nature, I no longer see myself as wrong, or flawed,or less than. I have then allowed myself the freedom for change to enter into my life. Acceptance opens that door.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
