TRUSTING THE PROCESS

"Life is a gentle teacher. She wants us to learn....It's frustrating to be in the midst of learning....It may feel like someone is torturing us with messages that we shall never understand....Later, while taking a quiet walk, we break through. Quietly, the gift of understanding has reached the deepest place in us. We understand. We have learned." -Melody Beattie- I have spent the last year or so attending trainings to become an Ayurvedic Yoga Specialist. There were many times when I felt frustrated and questioned my mental abilities. Self-doubt crept in now and again. I wondered if I was doing the 'right' thing. Luckily, I have studied the brain and the learning process enough to know that we are all on our own time line when it comes to learning. I stuck with the program, reading, studying and not always understanding-faking my way through. One day, I was taking a yoga class and the instructor gave a beautiful description of something that I hadn't, as of yet,integrated. All the hours of classes, reading and studying came together at that moment for me. Of course, that was just a tidbit of the program, but in that moment, I got it! Learning is about trusting the process. We are integrating and absorbing even when we are idle. We know that firsthand when we practice shavasana (relaxation). The mind/body system needs integration time. That time is different for each individual and learning situation. So,trust the process and relax. Learning will happen despite your best efforts! Oh, and by the way, I am now an Ayurvedic Yoga Specialist!

DEVELOPING TAPAS

In the Himalayan Institute Yoga Teacher Training Manual, Tapas is described as meaning "heat". It goes on to say: "It implies effort. When we make a disciplined effort we build energy and enthuism for our task. Tapas leads to self-mastery." Tapas is the third of the niyamas, spiritual practices, or observances. Each of the niyamas have been discussed in an earlier post. I find it fitting to revisit tapas at the beginning of September, when the school year gets underway. I always get a sense of renewal at this time of year: perhaps it's the school teacher in me. I am more prone to make resolutions now than I am in January. This idea of self-discipline is particularly poignant for me, in regard to regularly posting to my blog. I have been less than self-disciplined when it comes to entering blog posts. Instead of flogging myself for my inadequacies, I choose to see that this is an area in my life that I've not quite mastered. So, what can I do to become more successful with this? I know that scaling down my expectations is a first step. It would be less daunting to write a paragraph or two,than it would be to feel as though I need to write a tome every time I sit down at the computer. How do I build self-discipline? I start small. My particular challenge is posting regularly to my blog. We all have areas in our lives where our self discipline is challenged. Maybe you have trouble finding time to practice asana every day. Start small; Set aside enough time to do two rounds of sun salutations every morning when you get out of bed. Success is easier to come by if you practice at the same time and in the same place every day. If you miss a day or two, forgive yourself and start again. Practice leads to mastery. Where in your life can you build the fire of self-discipline? Start small - start today.

YOGA, AYURVEDA AND THE 3 DOSHAS

"Our biological existence is a dance of the three doshas of vata, pitta and kapha. Life is a multicolored tapestry of their movement in various plays of balance and imbalance, coming together and going apart. These three powers color and determine our conditions of growth and aging, health and disease." -David Frawley-

Dosha, literally means that which goes out of balance easily. The doshas are the ayurvedic constitutional types. We determine our dosha- vata, pitta, kapha or some combination of the three, by looking at the ways in which we tend to go out of balance on the physical, emotional/mental and spiritual levels.
Let's begin with vata. Literally, vata means wind and is the primary dosha. It is made up of the the elements of air and space. Frawley explains; "It is the motivating power behind the other two doshas, which are lame or incapable of movement without it." The qualities of vata are cold, dry, irregular, mobile/fast, poor stamina, sun loving, thin boned, dry hair, nails and skin, speak/move quickly, enthusiatic, imaginative, sensitive, impractical, quick to catch on, forgets easily, anxiety prone, tends toward insomnia, ADHD, variable digestion, chronic pain/especially in joints, instability. So, how does one keep vata in balance? Balancing vata, or any dosha, for that matter, requires adding the opposite qualities. To balance,add warm, moist foods to the diet. Warmth in general is very nourishing for vata (warm baths, food, drinks, clothing). Moisture in the form of warm drinks, oily foods, oil for the body (sesame oil is particularly warming for vata). Balance vata with daily routines to calm the urge for frequent change. Structure is helpful for vata, which is hard wired to change. In asana, vata benefits from slowing down, grounding into the pelvic bowl, moving rhythmically and mindfully. The key word is nurturance.
Frawley says that "The key to managing all the doshas is to care for vata."

Pitta is made up of the elements of fire and water. Literally, pitta means "the power of digestion or cooking."(Frawley) Four key words to describe pitta are warm, oily, irritable/sharp. Qualities to further describe pitta are athletic, tired by heat, red hair/early gray, fair/freckles,strong appetite, leader/organizer, intelligent/ambitious, confident/courageous,overly critical, efficient, enjoys challenges, prone to overwork, prone to inflammation, heartburn/ulcer, skin rashes/eczema, headaches and high blood pressure.(Himalayan Institute 2011) As with all of the doshas,to balance pitta, we give it the opposite of its inherent qualities. Due to the intense nature of pitta,it is generally a good idea to lighten up, not taking life so seriously. Although pitta personality is drawn to intense yoga practices(Bikram, Ashtanga), s/he will be better served practicing moderation in all activities. Finding a balance between rest and activity will serve the pitta. Daily relaxation and meditation to calm the intensity is also a plus. Leisure time is important and a good dose of laughter won't hurt either! It is good to maintain a cool environment, not lingering in hot baths. Non-competitive activities are balancing for the pitta. The key word is relaxation!

Kapha is made up of the elements of earth and water. Kapha literally means "what makes things stick together". (Frawley) Kapha tends to be cold, wet, heavy and stable/slow. Other characteristics of the kapha individual are a square build, lustrous hair, pale,smooth skin, graceful/lubricated, strong, tolerant/calm, loyal, compassionate, good memory, emotional, loves comforts,prone to inertia,prone to mucus, chronic sinusitis, swelling,fibroids, depression.(Himalayan Institute 2011)
Although a kaphic personality would love to hibernate, spending plenty of time on the couch reading, the best medicine is vigorous activity.
It is good for a kapha to push him/herself. Kapha benefits from dry heat and warming spices. Daily aerobic activity is essential. Kaphas need to sweat. Light food, with a minimum of dairy and wheat will help to balance kapha. Kaphas tend toward sluggish digestion, which leaves them prone to accumulation of toxins. Kaphas would do well with regular fasting. A vigorous and energizing yoga practice will benefit kapha. The key word for kapha is stimulation.

One dosha is not better or worse than the others. Each has both strengths and weaknesses. As you read this, you will notice that you have some traits from each of the three doshas. It is the dosha of which you have the most traits that determines your type. Often, you will have a secondary dosha. The 7 doshic possibilities are vata, pitta, kapha, pitta/kapha,vata/pitta,vata/kapha and vata/pitta/kapha. When in balance, the doshas support our health. When out of balance, the doshas accumulate, creating imbalance. All of life is a search for balance. Using the ayurvedic system of the doshas can simplify your search.

LETTING GO OF THE EGO

"We must remember asana is not about personal achievement but of letting go of the ego." -David Frawley-


Coming to the yoga mat with a competitive spirit negates the purpose of the practice. I am not practicing to be the "best" yogi in the class, but to be the best person that I can be. This, however, is not about personal achievement, but about coming to know myself better. I come to the mat with a sense of humility - with an acceptance of the perfectly imperfect human that I am. In practice, I begin to see more clearly both my strengths and challenges, in my physical body and, more important, in my deeper self. Do I struggle to stay focused as I hold a posture? Am I making my shopping list during savasana (relaxation). Do I run out before relaxation and meditation because it is agonizing to be still/quiet for 7-8 minutes? Am I busy watching others in practice, losing my inner focus? Am I impatient with myself when I struggle with a posture? Do I take myself too seriously or, just the opposite, minimize myself in practice?
In yoga practice, I am exploring the relationship that I have with my body, breath and mind; There is no room for the ego. I come to the mat to discover myself.

THE NIYAMAS

Following the yamas, the five restraints, come the five observances, the niyamas. The niyamas are the second step of raja yoga, or the eightfold path.
The first of the niyamas, shaucha, has been described as the goal of the whole of yoga philosophy. Translated from the sanskrit, saucha means self-purification. Sovik and Anderson, explain in their book, YOGA MASTERING THE BASICS, ..."from the yogic point of view the accumulation of internal wastes (whether in the form of undigested food or undigested experience) is the primary cause of disease. The aim of shaucha is to remove internal toxins and wastes, and to select wisely from the many choices of food, emotions, and thoughts waiting to come in."
I have always heard that keeping your surroundings neat and orderly helps to keep your thinking clear. I know that to be true for me. But, if I'm keeping my surroundings clean, while surrounding myself with negative people, reading material, tv programs, am I practicing self-purification? Striving to eat food that is pure, and as unrefined as possible serves to purify the body, leading to clearer thinking and healthier living.

The second of the niyamas,santosha, means contentment. Sovik and Anderson describe contentment in this way: "Practicing contentment means letting go of the past. It means not condemning ourselves for not being wiser, wealthier, or more successful than we are. It also means that we must free our mind of expectations. Then we will see life in a larger context and be able to ride its ups and downs with equanimity. Contentment allows us to know that we are making the right effort."
This boils down to acceptance. My life will change when I can accept myself for who I am, my spouse and my children for who they are. When I no longer expect life to be a certain way, I find contentment. In theory, this sounds simple, but in practice it is not easy. I accept this fact, and continue to practice, accepting that I will slip along the way.

The third nyama, tapas, translates to self-discipline. The literal translation is heat, that which grows with right-minded effort. To quote Sovik and Anderson again: "Tapas accompanies any discipline that is willingly and gladly accepted in order to bring about change of some kind-whether it be improved health, a new habit, better concentration, or a different direction in life. Tapas focuses energy, creates fervor, and increases strength and confidence. The practice of asanas is a form of tapas for the body; meditation is a tapas that purifies and focuses the mind." It is a good idea to be realistic with tapas. If I attempt to make too many changes at once, I may be setting myself up to fail. One or two small changes at a time will allow me to more reasonably follow through with tapas.

Svadhayaya, the fourth niyama, means self-study. I can explore self-study by reading inspirational/spiritual literature. Eventually, I gain awareness of myself through the practice of the yamas, niyamas, breath work and meditation. I learn to notice when my thoughts and actions are in line with my goals. Eventually, the practice of self-study moves inward. Using a mantra during meditation creates a connection to the inner self. "Self-study is not prescriptive. Any practice of yoga can be part of it, as can the words of yogis, saints, and sages, as well as inspiration gained through teachers we are drawn to." (Sovik and Anderson)

Ishvara Prandhanai is the last of the niyamas. This translates to self-surrender. Contrary to popular belief, surrender is not about losing, giving up, defeat. Sovik and Anderson explain: "Self-surrender, then, is not a process of defeat or of mindlessly submitting to another's will. It is the act of giving ourselves to a higher purpose-and when we do we feel uplifted and invigorated." In yoga philosophy, we discuss the four instinctive urges: food, sleep, sex and self-preservation. It is when life becomes ruled by these urges, that I lose track of my inner purpose. The reason for the yamas and niyamas, is to guide one in regulating desires so that life is not dictated by never ending wants and attachments. We as humans have another strong urge, and that is for self-realization. By not allowing the four urges to run rampant, I am more able to move inward, through meditation, giving myself to a higher purpose. (Sovik and Anderson)

YAMAS: THE FIVE RESTRAINTS

What better time than January, the depths of winter, for a little introspection! Having spent the last five weeks in class studying the yamas, the five restraints, I have become all too aware of the times when I am challenged by these principles.
Let's start with the first yama, ahimsa (non-harming).
Kyle Miller, states "Compassion is essential to the practice of ahimsa because it helps us break down the differences we've constructed between ourselves and others. By really seeing yourself in someone else's shoes, you begin to understand that we are all the same, all trying to survive and be happy, and the desire to inflict harm is automatically lessened."
I get that I'm not supposed to physically harm another human being or living thing, but it doesn't stop there. If I am thinking negative thoughts about another person, I not only harm him/her, but I harm myself with that negativity. How often I find negative, harmful thoughts entering my consciousness! To break the chain of harmful thinking, I can bless the other person and forgive myself for being human. I could go on and on, but this is meant to scratch the surface, making room for your thoughts. Besides, there are four more yamas!

Satya, translated as truthfullness, is the second of the yamas. With regard to satya, Lauren Flax, says "Simply defined, this is "truth within". We each have a space of truth-our own absolute personal truth. It can not be wrong, it shouldn't be judged. It is a nugget of pureness and -I think- that is where we feel most at home. When we are living in our most authentic vibration, when our actions align with our life affirming intentions, we are experiencing satya."
Isn't this the purpose of our existence, searching for our own personal truth? What I know, however, is that my truth does not always align with another's. As long as I am intending no harm, ahimsa, then I must follow my truth. This yama becomes a whole lot more than not telling lies!

Asteya, or non-stealing, is the third yama. On the "yogawithamy" blog, this insight was shared: "While reflecting on incorporating asteya into one's life, it is also worthwhile to remember some of the intangible ways in which we take from others. Being knowingly tardy to an appointment with a friend presumes that our time is more valuable than theirs. Speaking on behalf of another takes away their opportunity to express themselves. Doing homework for, or stifling curiosity in children robs them of learning on their own. Presupposing the outcome of a disagreement with a loved one steals both parties from the chance to carve out a new path to a familiar worry. Taking credit for ideas which are not rightly yours,or accepting praise which is undue are also examples of taking something which is not yours to take."
In downplaying my talents, not sharing my gifts with the world I am robbing myself of the chance to shine. This withholding is a form of stealing. No one benefits there. In what life situations, or with whom are you taking more than your give?

Moderation of the senses, or brahmacharya, is the fourth yama.
Jenn Ryan puts it this way: "It is important to apply moderation to moderation also, so it is not a burden. It is a beautiful practice. It is about moderating the extremes, not wanting too much and being happy with what you have. The practice of Wanting Wanting Wanting will always leave you feeling unsatisfied."
I can find the practice of moderation quite challenging. It seems as though there is a fine line between doing too much and not doing quite enough. I like to push myself physically, whether it is on the mat or the ski slopes. I have been practicing stopping before I succumb to complete exhaustion. If I am truly listening to my body, I will have more to give at a later time. Moderation of thoughts can be quite tricky. Usually when I'm getting carried away with obsessive thinking, I need to get physical, to shift my focus. A little asana practice and some alternate nostril breathing, followed by meditation can be all it takes to moderate my thoughts. When it comes to alcohol and drug addiction, things become more complicated. All of this is, in theory, is simple, but not easy!

The fifth yama, aparigraha, is non-possessiveness.
Marimar Higgins, shares her insight into aparigraha: "On a more philosophical level, aparigraha is the practice of letting go and allowing for change. Just as our inhale and exhale keeps us alive, there is an expansion and contraction of all things. We give and we take. We obtain and we give away. In this way, aparigraha looks not only at physical possessions but also at the beliefs, ideas and even grudges that we hold onto (or hoard). Aparigraha is about inviting the present moment to just be what it is. When we notice what we have rather than what we lack, all we need will be acquired."
How often in my life I have held onto an idea of how I "think things should be." When I grasp at these unreal expectations, I am not accepting what is. I see this principle of non-possessiveness as all about acceptance: acceptance that I have enough, that my thoughts/ideas are not the only ones or, necessarily, the right ones, that the people in my life will do just fine if I can just loosen my hold on them!

In essence, I see the yamas as a path towards personal freedom. I don't see the practice of the restraints as an indictment for my errors, but more as a gentle guideline for good living. After all, that is what life is all about, practice, practice, practice!

PERFECTIONISM

"Nothing would be done at all if a man or woman waited until they could do it so well that no one could find fault with it." -Cardinal Newman-

There have been times in my life when I have chosen not to take a chance on something, for fear of failure. As a result, I inevitably end up with feelings of resentment and anxiety. Coupled with those feelings, there is the nagging thought,"what if?". When I remind myself that making mistakes is part of the human condition, I give myself permission to explore life's many opportunities and challenges.

Showing up at your first yoga class is the first step. It doesn't matter what clothes you wear, how much experience you have, or if you haven't yet lost that last 10 pounds. What matters is that you show up. Yoga is like life, if we come to it looking for perfection, the result will surely be disappointment. The important thing is not the end result, but that you are doing it.